If you have a loved one who has struggled with alcohol addiction for some time, you’ll know that alcoholism is a chronic illness that affects the way they feel about themselves, their ability to maintain healthy relationships, and overall stability in life. There are several warning signs to be on the lookout for. Additionally, there are relapse prevention strategies that must be implemented to ensure long-term sobriety.
Even if they’ve maintained a significant amount of time being sober, the effects that alcoholism has on the brain very often lurk in the shadows, waiting to cause a relapse. There are ongoing things that an individual can do to prevent a relapse, such as getting involved in a twelve-step program, individual counseling, family counseling, obtaining and maintaining sober friendships, implementing new coping skills, utilizing sober support networks, and potentially medication management for some.
It is important to know that relapse is a common part of recovery from addiction. There are many reasons why a person in recovery may have relapsed, and it's helpful to understand the nature of this illness so that you can help someone who has relapsed.
Relapses usually happen early on because it is extremely difficult to rewire thought processes and change aspects of life that ultimately lead to drinking. The brain is very powerful; if work stress is a trigger for people with alcoholism, when they experience that trigger while they are attempting to get sober, they will have a very difficult time coping with that stress. People with alcoholism need to learn coping skills to overcome these triggers. The good news is that after several months of implementing these newfound coping skills, these triggers eventually lose their strength, and over time, the individual becomes stronger and stronger in sobriety.
What is an alcohol relapse?
A relapse is a return to alcohol use after a period of abstinence. It can be triggered by anything from stress to exposure to alcohol. It’s important to note that relapses are not one-time slip-ups; they are signs that there is an underlying problem. If your loved one has relapsed once, you should take this as an opportunity to reassess the situation and figure out why they are drinking again. It might be that they need more treatment or a higher level of care than they originally thought, or maybe their relapse prevention strategies need to be increased. For example, some people may need to increase the number of twelve-step meetings that they attend, or maybe they need to increase their level of sober support.
What causes relapse?
It's important to understand the science of alcoholism so that you can better help them. Research shows that there are genetic components involved in the development of alcoholism. This means that if there is a blood relative that has suffered from alcoholism, the chances of another blood relative developing alcoholism are increased. Additionally, there are environmental factors that can trigger the onset of alcoholism. Many people may have heard of the terms “emotional sobriety” or “dry drunk”. In other words, drinking alcohol is only a symptom of the actual illness of alcoholism. This can sound confusing, but ultimately it means that there are emotional issues present, coupled with very powerful brain chemistry that cause a very intense cycle of addiction.
Emotional stress can trigger a craving, which is powerful for the person fighting off the addiction. When we refer to emotional sobriety, we are talking about an individual who has gone through treatment, implemented healthy coping skills, made major life changes to increase the chances of sobriety, and has ultimately achieved stability from their addiction. The term “dry drunk” refers to people who are not actually consuming alcohol, but they have not experienced treatment or gained healthy coping skills as a result of sobriety; they are simply not drinking. Individuals who are not implementing sober practices to maintain their sobriety are at a higher risk of experiencing relapse because the emotional stress and other personal triggers are so overwhelming.
A very important step in helping your loved one recover from alcoholism is to understand what makes them crave alcohol. Once you understand why they're still drinking, you can help them find ways to cope with their cravings.
Signs your loved one may have relapsed
People suffering from alcoholism are often skilled at hiding their drinking from others, so it can be difficult to know whether they are drinking again.
The signs of an alcohol relapse tend to be more subtle than those of other types of substance use. If you suspect that your loved one has relapsed, there are a few signs to look for.
- Intentional isolation and avoidance of social interactions
- They present as more depressed and/or anxious than usual
- Refusal to talk or becoming defensive when questioned about drinking or their recovery
- Decrease in activities that are used to maintain recovery; such as meeting attendance, therapy, meeting with sober support, etc.
- Rapid mood swings and the tendency to overreact to situations
- A lack of interest in work, family, friends, and activities that used to be enjoyed
- They may begin to neglect their responsibilities
- They miss out on or forget special occasions
- Lying or avoiding talking about their activities or whereabouts
- Showing signs of alcohol withdrawal (shaking, sweating, nausea, vomiting)
How to help them get back on track
In the world of addiction, relapses are a common occurrence, and it is extremely frustrating both for the suffering individual as well as their loved ones. The right support, encouragement, and approach can go a long way in helping the person get back on track. Many loved ones can feel extremely resentful and disappointed when their loved ones experience a relapse. It is important to remember that it is not your fault that this happened. The suffering individual is required to take responsibility to achieve sobriety independently, but there are things that you can do to support your loved one. Here are some tips to help you support your loved one.
Keep the lines of communication open
It is important to be careful about how to talk to someone who has relapsed. This can be a very sensitive topic for recovering individuals, who may feel that their relapse has shattered their progress and brought them back to square one. However, as a loved one, it's important not to let your anger or disappointment get in the way of offering a supportive ear and constructive advice. If they're not ready to talk about it, it's still helpful to show your support.
Don’t take it personally
Unfortunately, people with alcoholism are often in denial about their relapses, and it's natural for them to try to brush off the fact that they've had a slip-up. The challenge is to maintain a fine balance between being empathetic and understanding while also not letting them off the hook by accepting their excuses.
Very often they can become defensive, especially if they are in denial. This is because some individuals do not believe that they have a problem with drinking, even if it seems really obvious to you. Additionally, they may be feeling shameful about the relapse, which can cause this person to shut down or feel unmotivated to get better. Don't take it personally—it's not about you, but rather the projection of their guilt and shame. If you're able to keep this in mind while interacting with your loved one, it will help both of you stay calm while working through the issue together.
Remind them of their progress
It's easy to forget the progress that was made during sobriety, especially when an individual with alcoholism is in the throes of a relapse. They may be feeling hopeless or defeated right now, but reminding them of the progress they've made helps them remember why they want to be sober and what they are fighting for. It helps to motivate them to get back up and try again and to know that they aren't alone in this fight. Letting someone know how much you believe in their abilities will help alleviate some of their self-doubt and guilt from relapsing or making another mistake.
Steer them towards getting professional help
Alcohol addiction is considered a serious illness, and many patients will need specialized treatment in a licensed facility. However, it is likely you will be met with defensiveness when you start talking about seeking professional help or treatment for alcoholism. It can be challenging for those struggling with addiction to accept that their problem is serious enough for a more significant intervention.
If they are refusing to get professional help, forcing them into a rehab facility rarely has the desired effect and often leads to feelings of resentment and distrust. Therefore, how you approach the situation going forward is critical to avoid any backlash.
But there are steps you can take to get them to see things your way:
- Educate yourself on addiction and recovery so that you feel more confident in your ability to help them understand the situation. If you know what's going on with their brain chemistry, it will be easier for them to see why getting sober matters.
- If they are open to talking with you about their addiction, listen carefully and try to understand why they are resistant to treatment. They may be afraid of losing their job or losing custody of their children if they admit to needing help. From there, you can work on these issues and provide the necessary assurance to remove these mental barriers.
- Offer to do the legwork for them. Many struggling with an addiction will feel like even just finding the appropriate help is too difficult and takes too much time and effort. With Rehab Bookings, you can easily narrow the search and find all the information you need to help connect them with their ideal rehabilitation facility that matches their specific needs and goals.
Removing all the barriers and excuses will clear their path and give them a running start towards recovery.
If your loved one has already received treatment for addiction in a specialist rehab center, you could contact the center directly to discuss their options and possible next steps.
Closing thoughts
It is best to have patience with individuals suffering from alcoholism. There is no doubt that it can be difficult to watch someone you love suffer from addiction. But remember that alcoholism is an illness, not a choice, so try to remember this when they relapse. As a loved one, it is important to consider getting your own help to overcome your stress and to gain guidance on coping with your loved one’s illness. There are several therapists that can help you heal and guide you along the path to your own recovery as a family member or loved one. Stay strong. There are many resources and support for not only your loved one but also you!
